Amsterdam : Part II
A few hours later and a promise to stop by again (or not, I don’t remember which, but definitely one of the two, maybe, oh man I love science), we were let go without charges. My brother Theo took me by the arm and led me to what seemed like a giant cake- a giant, yellow layer-cake with bullet proof windows (perhaps). Inside sat a beautiful redheaded woman, where the crème-filling would’ve been, and I remember reading somewhere INFORMATION. Oh good, I thought, she would know if the windows are indeed bullet proof.
“Excuse me, Miss,” I shouted over the three people who stood in queue before us. “Are these windows bull-” My brother’s grip tightened to infinity. With restrained austerity he told me to shut the fuck up. I guess he meant it because some poop came out.
“Some poop came out.”
“Please! Be quiet for a second. Just…keep still. ”So I was waiting quietly, shooting imaginary bullets from my fingers that ricocheted all over the place killing everybody I was aiming. It was awesome. You probably won’t believe me but I’m pretty remarkable at imaginary games. And even though I play by myself, I win almost every other time.
“Ok, she called our airlines and they found my credit cards,” my brother said relieved.
“That’s awesome, man!!!... What credit cards?”***
[aside]
Theo: By the way this story takes way too fucking long.
Alex: I know. But how else can I portray that it was taking forever? I remember thinking OH MY FUCKING GOD, where’s all that pot and naked ladies that was promised to me? Where’s the Vagina Storms, the mountains of shrooms, the hectares of sweet grass, man? Where’s the dunes of cocaine, the oceans of LSD? And most importantly, Where’s the Pool of Buoyant Boobs? The Boobs, man... I mean JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, we’ve landed for almost an hour now and not one measly little toke. Not one snort of a nipple.
Theo: By the way, they won’t like it here either.
Alex: What?
Theo: Putting a nostril over a boob, closing the other, and snorting in the nipple.
Alex: Oh… hehe.
Theo: So try not to do it this time. It will get us in trouble… Who am I kidding, you’re doing it the first chance you get, aren’t you?
Alex: Uh-huh… Hahaha.
Theo: Heh.***
So. Bags in palms again. Stewardess returns cards. Taxi ride to hotel. Check-in. Magnificent room. Spirits rise. Sentences end with exclamation marks. We are ready. Fly downstairs. Brisk walk turns to running. Arrive at city centre. Spot a coffee shop. Stand outside it. Read its name for future reference. Deep breath. Walk inside. You won’t remember the name.
End of Part II. Continue to Part III.