Elektra : The movie
I’ve just spent two hours watching the film Elektra, starring Jennifer Garner and I have no idea what happened and why it did happen. The whole time I kept repeating mentally: “If I could have some of that Jennifer’s ass it would be sooo great ”. Then my brother punched me in the dick because by repeating "mentally" I mean "out loud" and by "dick" I really mean "vagina".
Is this woman hot or not?
the grammarian is actually hot
Man, I would have humped her without even thinking about all the other factors that people normally think. You know, herpes, condoms, AIDS, babies. No! These things are not even a factor when it comes to Jennifer’s ass. They all fall into the imaginary category of “What kind of condom flavour would you prefer woman?” if I was even considering of using one. It just doesn’t matter. Banana or Strawberry? Who cares! One glance at her and I instinctively calculate all the possible holes they need feeling/filling!
Target number one, locked : Mouth! Mmhhh, her luscious, half opened red mouth, her warm saliva. Target number two, TITS: feel them with both hands, join them together then fill them. Possible combination with target number one? Affirmative! Oh yes! That’s what I’m talking about. Some spanish loving.
Scanning for next targets!… Ears, nostrils, eye sockets.
<incoming radio signal>
10-4, Soldier?, potential tightness ahaid. Godspeed soldier.
Yes sir! I am going in. Mmmhhhh, hot ear wax!... Ear-picks seem to be redundant here Sir. Thank Heaven I have a pencil-dick.
What was that soldier?
Errr...uhmm ... nothing Major, moving on, moving on! Snot and playful boogers everywhere I turn; it's paradise Sir.
Go down, go down.
Diving in sir. What? An earringed navel?
Be careful son, first remove the ear from the ring and navel!
What the hell is going on Sergeant-Major? Ear from navel?!? Oh my god! Mother Mary pray for me!
Stay with me son.
It’s getting darker and darker Major-Sir…
STAY WITH ME!.. Goddamn it! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Radio Operator, are you there? Alex is dead. I’m going in! Jennifer must be put under siege. Get me Seagal. Fucking navel. I will fuck you up! This is for you Alex …and this, and this, and this... well maybe that's for me. And now the main course. OH-MY-GOD! What a cute little piece of ass!... Wait a minute! What’s that smell? ... We are under gas attack! Mrs. Garner is not about to give up her precious little ass so easily. Bring in the marine CORKS!
Yes sir!
Now cork this stinking butt hole.
Aye aye! Pop pop!
Phew! ...Mrs. Jennifer? Ready for some muff diving?... The war is not over… Not yet!
<Major’s voice is fading and eventually lost between the heavy machine guns and the vulgar slurping>
FADE TO BLACK.
END CREDITS ROLL.
What the...? What the hell is wrong with me? And who the fuck is the Major? This is my sex-fantasy. And I die while Major-sir has his full plate of Jennifer ass? Ohh maaan!..
No no no! I won't have it! Let’s take it from the top people! <clap clap>
Fantasy Director : Sorry dude but your wee-wee seems to be “sleeping” right now. Ha ha! Look at it! All wrinkled up and sad.
Me : (looking at crotch) Goddamn it!
The end.
PostScript : I hate my disobeying fantasies!
