Green Monday.
Like all Green Mondays, my friends and I go for a picnic in the graveyard next door. It is peaceful there and we rest. Witticism is our special guest. He-he. We have a lot of fun because we love and care for each other very much.
This is how it usually goes:
Me: Ha ha, you are right Eric, sucking your fat balls will be sweet.
Eric: Hey shut your fucking mouth. They're not fat!
Me: I'm just messing. Hehe
Oh I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced you to the gang. This is a family picture I took. That’s why I’m not in it. Heh.
Me: So guys… what should we talk about?
Everybody: …........
Me: Guys?
Bear: Let’s talk about how CRAZY you are. You lost it completely.
Everybody: Hahahahahaha
Bear: Am I right dudes?
Me: That’s not funny. You are real and I know it. You are my buddies.
Ozzy: You have no friends Alex. That’s why you are trespassing in your neighbour’s garden.
Me: It’s a graveyard.
Ozzy: No it’s not.
Guitar: Man, look at us. I’m a guitar miniature for fuck’s sake. We cannot be talking right now. We are inanimate objects.
Tortoise: Hey, watch it asshole!..... yeah you’re right, hibernation objectifies you I guess.
Me: But!...Anyway, let’s eat.
Everybody: (sighs)
Axe: Yeah whatever. What did you bring?
Ozzy: Please let it be pigeons.
Bread: Bread and onions.
Bear: Oooooh, you didn’t think of any expenses did you? Asshole.
Me: HEY! I’m just trying to show everybody a good time. I bring wine, food, my smile and all you do is complain. Screw you! I had it! I’m leaving.
Exit Alex
Everybody: Hahahaha!
Axe: He totally bought it man!
Bear: As if we cannot drink wine or eat.
Eric: Hehe, pass me the bread Mr. Axe, I cannot move.
Axe: I seem to be stuck at the moment, hehehe…(everybody laughs) No seriously, I cannot move either.
Guitar: Me neither. Fuck.
Eric: Goddamn it! Can anyone move?
Tortoise: Hey, don’t look at me.
Bear: Was it all true? Are we inanimate objects after all? Jesus! The humanity.
Everybody: Aleeeeeeeeex!!!!
Enter Alex
Me: What?
Everybody: We love youuuu!
Ozzy: We were messing with you man. Come, sit! Hehe.
Me: Shucks! You guys! I love you too.
Axe: But seriously. We cannot drink wine or communicate or anything. It’s all in your head.
Me: Yeah I know.
Me&Everybody: Hahahahaha.
Me: Let’s sing a song.
Everybody: Yeaaaaaahhhh! (start singing)
Mrs. Neighbour: Honey, do you hear singing?
Mr. Neighbour: Oh god! It’s that crazy man with his “friends” again! Call the police...
