In the classroom.
purple words added later
I’m in class. I’m pretending to write notes from stupid projected slides. I wonder if the professor will notice me not lifting my head to copy from the board. I better mislead her (raise head)…
Fuck! She was watching me. I wonder if she realized I’m a fraud. I feel her scrutinous eyes all over me. I should make a vague and ambiguous question to show I participate (raise hand).
“Do you think, that, given the current views on the subject, one should presume that my penis is in fact grand?”
Hahaha, oh man that would be funny. And I could blame it on alcohol. I had some of that earlier. It was a special day today and drinking alcohol in school premises was allowed. I think it was encouraged too. How else could one endure all that shitty music playing at the carnival fest? But whatever man, it beats sitting in class learning linguistics. Not that I’m doing that exactly.
This is nice. Sitting here pretending to be doing something I am not. Exactly what I’ll be doing at work in a few years. Just like my teacher now. Look at her! Pretending she knows her subject, all high and mighty but deep down thinking ‘Oh shit, what am I saying, no idea what’s going on. I wonder if Alex figured me out yet. I’ll ask him something to divert him.’
Teacher: Alex, what do you think on the matter?
Maybe if I pretend I’m writing something meaningful, she’ll go away…
Teacher: Alex?
Me: (damn)... Hm?
Teacher: What do you think on the matter?
Me: (raising my voice) What do YOU think on the matter?
Teacher: I’m asking you.
Me: And I’m asking you (fold my arms)
Teacher: … … … … actually he is right guys, it was a trick question, nobody knows anything about this. Well done Alex.
Me: Humph!
I knew it! That fraud! As if she knows more than I do on 'nothing'. I know 'nothing' when I see it...
Ooooooh! Everybody shut up, Mr. Dipshit has a comment that really concerns everybody.
Mr. Dipshit: Sometimes, my thoughts are made in my second language, in English. I don’t know why is that but they are. He-he. It’s strange.
Teacher: Yes, maybe it’s because you are fluent in English (and blah blah blah).
Me: AS IF THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING.
Mr. Dipshit turned and stared at me angrily. That motherfucker. I always hated him. He is an Aries and I always hated Aries, Pisces and Taurus people. Let me set the records straight, astrology is for morons. The reason I hate these assholes is because their parents had blithe, reckless, fun summer sex and 9 months later, BOOM! spring-time morons all over the place. As if they couldn’t wait for the winter, when normal people have sex in order to warm themselves. "Oooooohhhh, look at us, we have sex in the summer, disregarding completely the rule saying: Sex is only for body warming in cold winter nights." Those happy perverts. Having sex whenever they feel like it. No wonder their kids came out dumbasses.
You know who else I hate? That bitch from that morning show, who really believes in astrology and inquires every guest on her stupid show their star signs. She makes me sick. When I was younger I used to be so in love with her but not anymore. Not since the court order…
(in today's society breaking an entry to sniff lingerie is frowned upon. Lame society.)