Karaoke Nights
Do you enjoy singing? Are you positively certain that your voice and physique are what the music producers looking for? Why don’t you show everybody what a superstar you are by pissing everybody off at a Karaoke bar?
*****
So I am heading at this local bar again, the one I am always mentioning, and as I get closer I felt I had an aneurism. Someone was taking a dung on Black Sabbath’s Paranoid. What the Fuck, I said as I step in from the back door, there is a FAT LARD-ASS munching on the microphone thinking he’s Ozzy and shit. Then it turned out I really had an aneurism, he really thought he was Ozzy and I really died for a second or two… Then resurrection came as always, followed by a slight headache, but that's not the point.
I was so pissed off man. I was boiling. The waitress came and I ordered my regular lava and I asked: “What the fuck is going on here? Why do you still do these Karaoke Nights? It’s always a bunch of wanna-be superstars coming off as stupid pieces of shit, while slaughtering and battering the music I love.” She responded: “Well, handsome customer, I agree with you but they seem to like it”. I got upset and I spat some lava on her face and blinded her. She shat herself and died withered in the corner. They!... *Humph*
*****
Anyway, it seems to me that every time this Parade-of-Morons-Night takes place, the same group of people shows up and ruins my night. These scumbags are not even regulars there. They never come on non-bullshit nights but only when Karaoke is ON. "Ooohh, Karaoke is on, It's ON!" They apply their fat ass on the stool and they cheer for their moron friend who happens to enjoy her 15 minutes of fame. “Oops! Guess what Mrs. Rockstar, your 15 minutes are up and still nobody cares. You were hoping for a talent scout weren’t you? Too bad. I killed him a while ago.” Face it people. Nobody cares and you are not about to be discovered.
Yes!!! I am talking to you skunky, tone-deaf, ugly, fat bitch, who undoubtedly believe you are Joan Jett just because you sung poorly her song “I love Rock n’ Roll”. Britney Spears failed at it miserably too, and she is at least a beautiful(?!?!) skunky, tone-deaf bitch. What are you?
NOT Joan Jett…
So do yourself a favour and stop pissing me off with your foul voice and shitty dance moves.
That is to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
The end
PS: If you should hate the Japanese for some reason hate them for Karaoke. Oh yeah! There is also that thing in World War II where they were part of the Nazi’s Axis. Hmm… perhaps I’m wrong.