The pursuit of Dipshytness

The Pursuit of Happyness is a new “film” starring thespian Will Smith (hahahah, thespian... sarcasm rocks).
Everywhere I turn, some asshole is praising this pile of crap as the new best thing in Cinemas. “It’s a feel-good movie, a real crowd-pleaser!” Hm, how about SHUTTING THE FUCK UP?

“Oh my God, Will Smith is such a good actor. It’s definitely his best work. Seriously, you should go see it, oh my god y’all.”
That may be true Miss Moron but Sir Will’s other works are not what you would call masterpieces or art. Shitpieces and fart sounds more like it.

This travesty of a movie is about a salesman/dad who is extremely selfish and wants more money than he deserves. He also has a kickass wife, who constantly tries to put his sorry ass back in line but in vain, the moron is beyond repair. So she dumps him and goes to have kinky butt-sex with a winner, like Pete Doherty.

Actual synopsis :

All day long Will runs around like a little pansy with pig-tails, and tries to sell some shitty, overpriced x-ray machine that produces nothing more than regular x-rays. That is his con. His sales pitch is crying… Oh man, he cries ALL THE TIME. He even locks himself and son in public bathrooms so he can cry more. When someone needs to take a leak, tough shit, crybaby wants to cry in private. Nobody gets in his public bathroom. I guess he thinks he’s some sort of Government and public things are his.
Speaking of how selfish he is let me prove it to you: Outside his son’s daycare building, the word “happiness” is allegedly misspelled and the “i” is replaced with a “y”. Little Nancy can’t take that, so he whines to his son about how Asian people can’t spell. He’s a racist too. What bothers Mr. Bigot is exactly that replacement. The “I” (meaning his EGO) was replaced by a “Y” (Why), which is a question-- stating uncertainty, yet an eagerness to learn.
“This cannot happen to me,” he subconsciously thinks. “I know everything, I am the best. Questioning my being or admitting lack of knowledge cannot coexist with my HUGE EGO, my HUGE “I”.” Of course, all this proves that his penis is small. So small.

Then he tries to better his life even more by studying medicine and becoming a famous doctor, curing cancer and world hunger. Just kidding, he becomes a stockbroker.

Near the end, he leaves his workplace so he can cry some more in city streets. Now that he developed mentally, he can cry in front of everybody, without caring. Nice going asshole. Excellent character development.

Then money starts falling from the sky while he lubricates his butthole with the fat of the land. The film ends with Will exchanging his son for a fake Rolex and a pack of tampons.

Thank you capitalist swine. Thank you very much... with sugar on top.

the (true) end,

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