Shopping
Yo.
Guess what? I’m pissed off again. Yeah, “Big Surprise”, who cares what you think of me. So I’m pissed off with Cypriots this time but let’s generalize it and say I hate the universe.
A couple of months ago, a gargantuan monolith of capitalistic SHIT was erected in Nicosia so that it will FUCK us in the ASS. I know that some of you stood still, watching flabbergasted the IKEA building thinking: “Hey, I don’t know what this is but it feels unnatural.”You were right. And you know why? Because shit are not meant to return in your ASS.
Come opening day, every stupid moron in Cyprus felt the need to buy furniture. What is wrong with the ones they already have you ask? They would cost them nothing, and we can’t have that, can we?
- Oooh cheap furniture, let’s buy more stuff we can sit on.
- Oh my God, a man-shaped lamp!!! I can put it in the living room and dance around it!!!
- Hey you, salesman, I need three thousand bookcases and five hundred tons of fake books to put on. Ha hA, yes, I AM an illiterate politician.
The amount of chairs bought by the average moron was 7.3 chairs. Does this mean that Cypriots have 7.3 asses? Yes!
And you know what more asses mean? More orifices for IKEA to shove their SHIT in.
And as if IKEA wasn’t enough, the same building houses The Cyprus Mall. Oh goody, a fucking mall. But there’s something fundamentally wrong with a shopping mall. This is how I see it:
Parent A: I’m really worried about letting our stupid spoiled brats ran around unsupervised because they may be morons but, for some reason unknown to me, I love them and I want to protect them from freaking pedophiles.
Parent B: Hey, I know! Let’s take them to the mall where they can hang around in a protected environment, browse shops and maybe catch a shitty movie with no substance at all!
Parents: LET’S!
What those shitheads don’t understand though, is that they expose their children to this subliminal message:
“Hey kids, the shopping mall is a safe place. Hanging around in the core of consumerism is FUN, and let’s face it, it’s the only kind of " fun" you'll ever have.. Shopping is cool, safe and familiar. No. Don't think! Spend. It will make you feel warm and fulfilled. Well, until next weekend.”
And the breeding of stupid consumers continues…