Goddamn it. School is about to commence its mind-grinding machines again and I have done absolutely nothing to meet my assignments’ deadlines. I sit on the chair and I stare at a blank Word page. “Write!” I say. “NO” I reply. “Why motherfucker?”, “Because you must watch TV”… “Oh yeah”.
Then I stand in front of a mirror and pull my hair indifferently for a few hours. My parents worry sometimes. For your information, my hair hates me. Sometimes I hear them plotting against me. Especially in windy days…
“Lets kill ‘im… Yeaaah!! Hush, I hear him come… But we are attached to him, this is normal! Shut up!” Or maybe it’s only “shhhhhhshshssshhhhh”… I dunno. I don’t care. Just as well.

I sit on the chair. Nothing happens. I press Word Count. Zero. Then I watch TV. Stupid programs. No Airwolf, no MacGyver nor Knight Rider anymore. K.I.T.T was cool. It messed with Michael a lot. Remember his gay pretenses?

“Hey Michael, what’s up? Wink wink”
“I am handsome with a leather jacket”
“No! I mean what is UP sister?”
“What!?”
“You said it. Your penis is up! Gimme some of that you stud”
“Oh, errr..oh ahmm.. ok KITT,” and he unzips.
“Hahahaha... you faggot!”

K.I.T.T ruled. What did the anagram K.I.T.T mean? Probably Kar.Is.The.Tits. Makes sense.

Word Count? Zero. Goddamn it! Word Count? Zero. FUCK. Word Count? Zero. Word Count? Zero. Word Count? Zero. Word Count? 1500 words. YEEEEAH… ...motherf..! It wasn’t funny Mr. Funnyman.

*****

Gene Fowler once said : “Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

Wrong! Writing is very difficult moron, bleeding is easy! You’ve just been served a super sized meal of IRONY Gene, courtesy by the King of Irony, me! Not that you know anything about it Loser! Humph!

******

Imagine: you find a magic wand and you can transform yourself to anything you like but only once. What it would be? I would transform to a magic wand to mess with people’s heads on my own.
"You want to stay beautiful forever!? Sorry Mrs. Stone, no Basic Instinct 2 for you, haha, the cinema audience is not so gullible these days! As if that will ever happen. Fourteen years after…You are pathetic…"

Oh NO! What if my magic wand was a misanthropist who had the same thought? And what if… man this is exhausting. And why is this relevant to my reluctance to study? I will masturbate on my pillow and pretend it’s saliva.

 

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